Self-Discovery or Self-REdiscovery – Nusa Lembongan

Many people go traveling in order to find themselves and to achieve happiness.
Through all these different influences, cultural experiences, inspirations and new ways of living, people do change during their travels.

Some people hope that they may find out what kind of job they want to do because after graduation they had no idea,
others hope that they can break bad habits and start something completely new,
some try new things and find new passions.

What if I tell you that in thirteen weeks of traveling, I have experienced „self-rediscovery“ rather than self-discovery?
Actually, I cannot completely explain this but I just feel more like myself.
When I left my town I thought that I would leave many things behind. Former hobbies, my old mind-set, stress and insecurity. And yes, I feel that through traveling I became more stress-resistant and I gained self-confidence. I learned a lot about myself and I know what I am capable of and what I should not do, or either what I do not need.

I rediscovered myself because I found hope that I can actually keep doing certain things and that I can trust myself.
For example, when I left I thought I would also leave my passion for dance behind. I assumed that I have to move on, try something new – I thought I was not good enough at ballet and dance in general and that even if I put a lot of effort into it, I would get nothing in return.
I was wrong. For thirteen years, dance has always played a big role in my life.
How could I expect my body to give up this passion that has always fulfilled me, a passion that guided me through good and bad times?
I cannot just let go of it and I do not have to. I love ballet and I cannot wait to start dancing again when I am back in Germany.

Additionally, I realized that I do not have to search for escape because there is nothing to escape from.
I love my family and I love my friends, which is most important because these people will always give their best to help and protect you.

I learned to love „home“ but I also appreciate being elsewhere, or even far away from home. As I already stated in my birthday blogpost, it will not matter where you are as long as there are your people surrounding you and you are able to do the things you love.
Of course, memories are often linked to certain places and situations, but maybe we must have to take a step forward and create new ones.

Sorry for this labyrinth of thoughts, which might cause some confusion, but I just had to put some thoughts on paper.
However, I hope you enjoy these pictures of Nusa Lembongan (click here to read my last post about this small island)!

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Have a good week!

xx, Sophie

Into The Woods, „As I began to love myself…“

Charlie Chaplin, English actor and filmmaker, once said:

“As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

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As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

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As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

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As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!”

 

Today, people are constantly striving for perfection. People build up huge egos in order to hide their lacking self-confidence. But what happens when we forget our mental health and keep focusing on our work instead of taking care of ourselves? Many people are overwhelmed by loads of work they have to do, they do not have a work-life balance and one day, they may fall over.
I have to admit, that I am often too ambitious and too much of a perfectionist.
Although ambition is quite helpful if you want to achieve something, it can be overwhelming. I am sure, many of you know exactly what I mean.
I used to not taking care of myself. I did everything at once, being elected representative of the pupils at my school, doing three different language certificates within 10 weeks, singing in our school choir and being a member of our movie club at school.
In addition to the extracurricular work at school, I went to the gym three times a week, I had Ballet classes one to two times per week and I went running.
For some people this may be „nothing“, but that time was quite busy for me.
Although everything went right, I realised that I had not listened to my body carefully.
Generally, I love working and I like to keep myself busy.
However, there are times when my body shows me that I took it too far.
After having worked seven days a week the past six weeks, I ended up being really tired. I set my alarm clock because I had a meeting at 10 and I planned to get up at 8 in order to go running. Well, I overslept and woke up at 9:59. Quite unfortunate.
Instead of being angry, I realised that I have put my body under a lot of pressure recently and that the oversleeping was just a sign that my body works properly and protects me.
Consequently, I decided to just do what I wanted that day. I was lying in bed the whole day, watching 8 (!!) episodes of Twin Peaks and later got up and went on a longboard tour with my little brother.
It is okay if we are not that productive occasionally. Sometimes our minds and bodies just need a little rest. It is highly important that we listen to our bodies and love them because if not, we will never achieve a healthy work-life balance. Maybe this is the most significant and also difficult challenge we have to cope with in our lives.
Being able to work efficiently and still spend enough time with family, friends and also alone.

 

The human body is a marvel. It protects us, it does everything possible to maintain our health, it can stand severe pressure for a long time and if we listen to our bodies, they tell us what they need. Unfortunately, this is the tough part, since most people do not understand their bodies. I guess understanding our them and knowing what they need is something which can be achieved by taking care of ourselves and loving ourselves.
Sometimes I feel that I have to take three deep breaths, close my eyes and figure out what I actually want. After having done that, I usually know if I am able to move on or if I need some rest.
I highly recommend creating a personal guide on what you can to in order to feel better again. My list would look like this:

  1. Taking a nap! 26 minutes are perfect for me, since I will not be very tired afterwards. Naps that are longer than 30 minutes may have the opposite effect and you might feel more groggy than before.
  2. Running! I often say that running saved me because it compensated all the stress I had and all the pressure I put myself under the past few years. I love to go on a run in the woods because I often see deers, foxes and sometimes even boars (although these encounters can be VERY dangerous). When I go running in the forest, I am highly alert of my surroundings, this clears my mind and fuels my body.
  3. Taking online latin dance classes – I love latin music and I love latin dances. I occasionally find myself locked up in my room, curtains closed, music turned on and enjoying taking latin dance classes on youtube. It releases the tension in my body and I feel great afterwards.
  4. Playing and instrument – Although I am definitely not a musician, I love to play the ukulele. The chords are simple and you can play almost every song on this little guitar with four strings.
  5. Decluttering! Maybe you have already read my blogpost My thoughts on MINIMALISM – happiness, a state of being or a state of having? and My personal guide on how to become a Minimalist – if not, check it out if you are interested in Minimalism. However, I often find myself messed up in a messy room. When my mind is messed up, my room is messed up as well. Then it is high time to declutter and get rid of old stuff I do not need anymore. Personally, I can only work efficiently when my space is neat and clean.
  6. Spending time with my family – There is nothing more relaxing than going for a walk with my little brother. We are fooling around, talking about random things and I just feel calm and happy.
  7. Lift weights – When nothing is working properly anymore and I am completely overwhelmed, I head to the gym and lift heavy weights. Lifting weights is a part of my workout routine, but really getting to that point that my muscles are sore and I really feel the burn frees my mind. Even though it may not be that healthy for my muscles if they are still aching two days later, I have to feel my power and really push myself to the limit. My mind becomes creative, it increases my physical endurance as well as my mental endurance. For a moment, it feels like I could conquer every single challenge in life.

 

My brother took these pictures, he is twelve and it was the first time that he used a reflex camera. I think he did a pretty good job.
Furthermore, if you are interested in how to be good at work, make sure to read my article Reconsidering – How to survive the 21st century and tell me if you are interested in these kind of personal posts.
Additionally, I hope that you like this quote by Charlie Chaplin as much as I do.
A very wise and clever woman gave it to me and I love to read it over and over again because I think that Chaplin hit the nail on the head. It gives me strength and hope.

Love yourself, because if you don’t love yourself, how should anybody else do it?
Love yourself, because you will have to live in your body your whole life.
Love yourself, because you deserve to be loved.

 

I hope you are all well and I send you so much strength for the next week.
xx, Sophie